Out of Reach
by feebes86
Summary: In an unexpected manner, Jacob learns what it's like to be a dad. My entry for Paws and Art 3.0. Tied for first place.


**Disclaimer: the characters and all recognizable situations belong to Stephanie Meyer - Last I looked I wasn't her... this story is a work of fan fiction, except or course for the legends and histories of the Quileute Nation that, of course, belong to them.**

**Beta'ed by the incredible Mrstrentreznor. Pre-read by the amazing SparklingFae.**

**This story contains character death**

**Out of Reach**

"Daddy… Daddy… lookit."

I turned and watched the energetic five year old that was barreling toward me. I squatted down, and gathered the small body of the little girl up into my arms and then swung her high in the air.

Her squeal of laughter was a balm to my soul. It was what I lived for.

"Whatcha got, sweet pea?" I tucked her against my side and started walking toward the house.

She held out her tiny hand and uncurled her fingers. There was a slightly crumpled and wilted looking four leaf clover.

"Auntie 'Chel said it would be good luck."

"That's right. A four leaf clover is supposed to bring good luck to the person that finds it. Do you want me to hold it so it doesn't get lost?"

She nodded and handed it to me. She watched solemnly while I tucked it into my shirt pocket. I tapped my hand on the top of the pocket, smiled and then said, "There you go… all safe and sound."

"I gonna keep it forever."

"You are?"

"Yep…" she replied. "If it's good luck then maybe it will bring Mommy home."

I inhaled sharply and closed my eyes for just a second.

"No sweet pea, I don't think it will bring Mommy back to us."

I had met Bella, years before when she had spent the summers with her father. We had been buddies, climbing trees, chasing puppies and making mud pies together. I hadn't known then that she would grow up to become my best friend, and mother to this precious angel in my arms. Anna was Bella's daughter by birth, but she became my daughter by choice. It was a situation that was beyond my control and one that I didn't expect. But it was a position that I loved.

Almost without meaning to, my mind went back to the terrible day, just a little over a year ago, when I had received the phone call that had changed my world.

It started out just like any other day. I had gotten out of bed, drank my coffee, ran three miles on the trail and then showered and headed for work. I grabbed breakfast on the way, stopping in at the canteen where Sue already had my usual packed up and ready to go.

The bacon, egg and cheese sandwich on whole wheat bread was gone by the time I made it to the barn. I was instantly bombarded with questions.

"Hey Jake, Mr. Wilson wants to know if he can come look at that gelding this afternoon."

I nodded my head at Quil and kept walking.

"Hey man, think you can give me a hand over here?" Embry shouted.

"Sure, give me a minute and I'll be right there." I replied. From the look of things he was shoeing a horse, or maybe the horse was trying to shoe him. I shook my head at the comical sight and kept moving.

"They've screwed up your order, Jake," Paul said as I entered the office.

"What did they do this time?"

"They sent your feed to Seattle and the saddles you ordered to Billings. Your tires are on back order but the good news is that the hay will be here on time. They say it's going to be another two days before they can get everything else delivered, longer for the tires."

I plopped down in the seat behind the desk and rested my head in my hands. "The hay will be here in time," I repeated. "That's just because it's coming from the Stanley farm on the other side of town."

I sighed, "Okay then, send Quil to Port Angeles to the tack shop. Have him buy us an extra saddle and bridle. That should get us by until the ones I special ordered get here. The tires on the truck should be alright until the new ones come in," Paul nodded and turned to leave the room. "And then tell whoever it is on the phone that I expect a discount, I need something to make up for the inconvenience," I shouted as he walked away.

I barely saw his head nod before he started talking into the phone once again. I followed him out of the room and went to help Embry.

After that the time went by quickly. It was filled with cleaning, working the horses and barn repairs, both the minor and the major. In fact, you could almost say it went by in a blur, until it didn't.

I'll never forget that moment. The moment that changed my life, forever.

"Jake, dude, phone."

"I can't let go right now, take a message."

In the background I could hear the soft murmur of Embry's voice. And then suddenly, he was there beside me handing me the phone.

"I think you need to take this one, it sounds important."

I got off the horse I was working and reached for the handset.

"This is Black."

"Jacob Black?"

"That's me." I absently replied, reaching for the lead rope a few feet away.

"Jake, this is Rosalie McCarty, Bella's friend."

"Oh, hey Rose, what can I do you for?"

"Look, there's no easy way to say it so I'll just come out and say it. There's been an accident. Anna's fine, she's here with me and Emmett, but Bella… well… it's not looking good."

I stood up straight and my eyes focused on the horizon that stretched out in front of me. The voice toiled on but I didn't hear a word she said. My mind stopped on accident and Bella.

"What's wrong with Bella? What happened?"

"It was a teenager; she was texting and ran a red light. They had to cut Bella out of the car. Right now they have her stabilized, but they're not sure she's going to make it. You need to come."

I started walking toward fence and the barn that loomed in the distance. I could feel the eyes of my friends boring into my back.

"Tell 'em…" my voice cracked. "Just do whatever you need to do to save her. I'm on my way."

I let the phone drop onto the floor and shouted over my shoulder. "Take care of things around here. Paul, you and Rachel check on Dad. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone."

I pumped the pedal on my bike and gunned the engine as it took off down the road. My back tire spun in the gravel but I didn't let that slow me down.

Within minutes the little red house came into view and I left the engine running while I ran inside. The door slammed behind me and I took off down the hall, my legs eating up the distance.

"Jake, where's the fire?"

"No fire, it's Bella. She's been in a wreck." I paused and caught my dad's eyes. I knew he could see the fear and uncertainty in mine. "It's not good. They don't think she's going to make it." I pushed the panic down and forced myself to focus on the task at hand. If I didn't I wouldn't make it.

I turned and headed into my room. I picked up the first things that I saw, luckily some freshly laundered clothes still waiting to be put up, and stuffed them into a backpack. Seconds later I was in the bathroom grabbing my toothbrush and deodorant. I strode back through the house, in and out in less than five minutes.

"Be careful, son."

"I always am."

"Jacob, I mean it. What will happen to Bella, or Anna, if you get yourself killed on the way there?"

I shrugged and kept walking.

"Do you have any money?" He shouted from the doorway.

"No, but I have my debit card. It will do."

Dad nodded. "Call me when you know something."

I swung my leg over the seat of the bike and shouted, "I will. Love you, Old Man."

"I love you, too." I couldn't hear his words, but I could read his lips. I took off for the highway, determined to make the six hour journey much shorter.

The road was familiar. It was a trip that I had taken on many occasions. Bella was, after all, my best friend. She was the person that knew me better than anyone else. It had been that way since we had met.

"_Jacob, come here. You have company."_

_I tore through the house from my bedroom, leaving my hot wheels cars scattered all over the floor. It didn't matter. I knew my friends and whichever one it was that came to play with me would want to play auto shop too. Usually we played outside, but that was out of the question today, it had been raining nonstop for several hours._

"_Who's here, Mom?"_

"_She's sitting on the couch. Go and make her feel comfortable."_

_She? I walked through the doorway and saw a tiny slip of a thing huddled into the corner of the sofa. She looked scared. I frowned, my forehead creasing between my eyes. She shouldn't be scared._

_I decided right then that I needed to make her smile; I walked right up to the girl that was sitting in my living room. "Who are you?" _

"_Bella," her voice was barely more than a whisper._

_I looked around the room. Nothing was out of place. It was the same TV on a low table and the same worn out, comfortable furniture. "How'd ya get here?"_

"_My Daddy brought me."_

"_Hummph… who's that?"_

"_Charlie… Charlie Swan." I nodded my head. I knew Charlie. He was over at my house a lot._

"_I'm Jake. Wanna watch cartoons?" _

"_Sure…" _

"_Here, you pick first." I showed her the movies that we had. _

"_That one." I looked down surprised when she pointed to The Lion King. I had been certain that she was going to chose Cinderella or Snow White. We spent the day, first watching Simba defeat Scar and then we watched Tarzan. When the rain finally let up, we went outside and I pretended to be the "Lord of the Jungle" and she was my Jane. And then, when we got tired of that¸ we played bigfoot, first covering ourselves in mud from one end to the other and then rolling around in the grass so that we were "furry."_

I smiled at the memory. In fact, I still had the pictures somewhere. There used to be one on Charlie's mantle. I wonder what Bella did with that one? I sighed, knowing her it was probably in an album somewhere.

That summer had sealed our friendship. Bella spent a lot of time hanging out with me on the reservation. She stayed with us while Charlie worked and she stayed with us when he joined my dad and Harry Clearwater for their weekly fishing trips. Bella was fun to be around, even if she was just a girl. She didn't care if she got dirty and she would do almost anything that she was dared to, even eat a worm.

By the time that summer was over and Bella had to go home, we were best buds. We exchanged addresses, phone numbers and emails, and we talked with each other, in some form or fashion, almost every day.

Charlie, just the thought of him made me smile. I missed him and I knew that Bella did to. He was my second father and the only constant parent that she'd had in her life. By the time Bella had turned fifteen, Renee was dating a baseball player and Bella was begging her dad to let her live with him.

Charlie had agreed instantly and she had been around from that point on.

Our friendship had picked up right where we had left it. It had been as if we had never been apart. And strangely enough, it had never been anything other than friendship. Sure, I'd had a brief crush once, years ago, but as soon as I'd kissed her, I knew it would never be anything more. It had been like kissing my sister. Yuck! We'd decided that we would be best friends, and we'd never looked back.

She'd been there for me when my Dad had his accident that left him in a wheelchair. I'd been there for her when her prom date had ditched her for not putting out. She'd been there for me when first Rachel, and then Rebecca had left for college, not looking back or even coming home for months at the time. And she'd been there for me when Emily had left me the night before our wedding, for her cousin's husband.

I'd been there for her through Charlie's illness. He'd had a long battle with cancer finally succumbing to the disease after almost eight months. He'd endured surgery, countless hours of chemotherapy followed by radiation and then finally, he'd had enough. Bella had cried on my shoulder the night he told her of his decision. I knew that she didn't like it, but she understood that he wanted to enjoy whatever time he had left.

I stayed by her side through it all, holding her hand as he died and then going with her to make the arrangements. She left the day after the burial and hadn't returned until almost two years later. During that time the house in Casper sat empty.

Her decision to return to the area wasn't done voluntarily; it was made out of necessity. Bella, my best friend, was heartbroken.

"_Jake, I quit my job. I'm coming home."_

"_Wonderful, it's about damn time." I had shouted into the phone. "When you gonna be here?"_

"_Uh, that's just it. I'll be there in about an hour and a half. Can you meet me, at my house? There is something I need to talk to you about."_

"_Sure, you by yourself or did you bring the carrot top?"_

"_I'm by myself."_

_Her words, or rather the lack of them, had caused an instant suspicion. She usually didn't like for me to talk ugly about her man Edward._

"_Ok, honey, I'll see you then."_

"_Thanks, Jake."_

_We had hung up the phone and I had left immediately for her house in Casper. I had the extra key and I had taken it upon myself to stop by there every few days and make sure things were alright. But while the place hadn't caught on fire and no water lines had burst, what was alright for me wouldn't be alright for Bella. _

_I stopped by the store and picked up a few necessities. Got to the house and opened the windows and let the place air out. I ran the dust rag over the tables and took the covers off the furniture. I ran the vacuum, and then I ordered a couple of pizzas. _

_I had just sat back and turned on the TV when Bella arrived. We met her halfway between the car and the house. She attacked me, jumping up in my arms and I swung her around in my signature Bella hug. It was great just to have her there._

"_I've missed you."_

"_I've missed you too, more than you will ever know."_

"_Come on, let's get inside. I ordered us dinner. It should be here in a few minutes."_

"_Hummm… let me guess, pepperoni, ham and onion for you and vegetable for me?"_

_I grinned. "You got it."_

_She tucked up into my side and we walked into the house. We talked for hours while we caught up, and then she finally got around to telling me about why she came home. _

"_I won't miss the job. Working for the Department of Human Resources is stressful and thankless. I want to do something different, maybe Veterans Affairs."_

"_You would be good at that."_

_She had nodded. "I think so too."_

"_Now tell me about what's his name. You've been stalling all night."_

"_He cheated on me."_

"_He cheated? Did you catch him?"_

"_Yeah, in my bed with that… skank from across the hall."_

"_You mean the little whirlwind that swore you were going to be best friends?"_

"_Yeah, that's the one, and that's not the worst part."_

"_It's worse than finding him in bed with your neighbor, Alice?"_

"_Yeah, they weren't… uh… they weren't alone."_

_My eyebrows had shot up to my hairline. "They had someone else in there with them?"_

"_Yeah, her husband, Jasper."_

_I had just stopped and stared. "Say that again."_

"_Edward was in bed sandwiched in between Alice and her husband. Jasper was on top. I'll let you figure out the logistics behind that one." She had paused to let me think about it all. _

"_Wow," _

"_There's more."_

"_More than walking in on a threesome?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_What, did they ask you to join them?"_

"_Well yeah, but that wasn't the worst part."_

_My eyebrows shot up and I just had to ask. "You didn't join them, did you?"_

"_No, of course not." She sounded appalled that I could even ask._

"_Then what was worse than finding your boyfriend the filling in a sandwich?"_

"_The person in the corner that was running the video camera."_

_I had stopped and stared, certain that I had heard her wrong. "What?"_

"_Alice's best friend, Tanya something or other was standing in the corner, topless, adjusting the video camera."_

"_You're shitting me?"_

"_No, I'm not." _

_I took a good look at her. Bella was close to tears. That was the only thing that kept me from laughing out loud at the absurdity of it all. _

"_Oh, honey, you're better off without him."_

"_I know, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I thought he was the one, my other half."_

_I fought hard to keep my eyes from rolling. That douche bag had never come close to being good enough for Bella. _

"_Come here, honey." She crawled up into my lap and cried, soaking my shirt. I just held her and waited. Finally, she had been able to calm down enough to sit back and talk again. _

_We had talked long into the night about Edward, the neighbors and why they had chosen Bella's bedroom for their encounter, a busted water pipe._

Bella didn't know that since then I had seen the actual footage that the pervy neighbors had shot. It showed up on an amateur porn site that Quil subscribed to. He had watched it and then showed it to me because, "Dude, this douche looks just like that idiot Bella used to date."

I never told him or anyone else that it was the same person. As far as our friends knew, Bella broke up with dumbass because she just wanted something different.

Bella had hung around for the summer, and then when school had started that fall, she had enrolled at the University of Wyoming. She already had her Bachelors, but she wanted to pursue her Master's Degree in Social Work. It had taken her just a little over a year and then she had graduated and gone to work.

She had moved to Denver, and then to Salt Lake City, where she had gotten the job she wanted, in Veteran's Affairs.

I merged onto the interstate and gunned the engine on my bike, only a few more hours.

My thoughts turned to the delivery of Anna, Bella's daughter and my Goddaughter.

"_I'm scared. I'm not sure I can do this."_

"_You are going to be an incredible mother."_

"_How do you know that?"_

"_I just do. Look at how well you have taken care of me and Billy, and your dad, and your mom before that. And I'm not even going to mention all the kids you have helped over the years."_

"_But this is different. I'm going to be responsible for this little girl, this baby."_

"_And you will do fantastic."_

"_But I'm all alone. She won't have a father, or a grandfather or any aunts or uncles or cousins. They say it takes a village to raise a child and this poor thing just has me," she had wailed._

"_Hey now, you've got me and so will Anna. I'll be the best Uncle Jake that she will ever have. And you know that Dad is already trying to figure out if he will be Grandpa Billy or Grand Billy or just plain ole' Paw Paw. This baby is going to have so much family that she won't be able to do anything without someone knowing about it."_

"_You promise?"_

_I nodded my head._

_She took a deep breath and stared at me. "Ok then, let's do this."_

"_You ready now?"_

_She nodded._

"_Right, then take a deep breath in; hold it and push… push hard Bells. You can do this."_

_I lifted her torso up with my arm and she held onto the opposite hand. Her face had scrunched up and sweat ran down the side of her cheek. She pushed, and she pushed and she pushed. An hour later, Bella screamed and the doctor said, "She's almost here, just one more time."_

_Bella gulped air into her lungs and pushed again. _

_The loud wail of her daughter filled the air._

I arrived at the hospital and rushed inside. There was a lady sitting at a desk in front of a computer bank. She looked up as I walked up to her. "Isabella Swan?"

She typed the name into her keyboard and said, "She is in the ICU, bed 6. Just go down this hallway and get on the elevator. You'll go up to the fifth floor and turn left when the doors open. The waiting room is down the hall on the right."

"Thanks," I replied absently. I was already moving in the direction of the elevator.

I found the elevator with no trouble and rode it up to the fifth floor. The waiting room was just where the receptionist had said it would be. I glanced inside.

Rosalie and Emmett McCarty, Bella's next door neighbors, were sitting there with Anna.

I opened the door and walked in; scooping down long enough to pick up the four year old that was running toward me. "Unca Jake."

"Hey Sunshine, how's my girl?"

Her sloppy kiss on my cheek was near perfection.

I held out my hand to Emmett and then hugged Rosalie, "Any word?"

"Nah, nothing in the last little bit, not since they brought her out of surgery," Emmett answered.

"Has she woken up at all?"

"I saw her at the accident," Rosalie offered. "She was alert and knew what was going on. She told me to call you, that you would know what to do."

I nodded. Bella had left me detailed instructions, just in case something happened to her. I never thought I would even have to think about carrying them out. "We've discussed it."

"Visitation will be in another hour. They won't let Anna go back there, but we thought we would hang around here so that you could see her."

"Thanks."

"Bella had once said that if something were to happen to her that you would," she paused, "that Anna would live with you."

"Yeah, that's what she told me."

"You know that Emmett and I, if you want, she could live with us."

"It's not going to matter. Bella is going to be fine. But until then, I've got it. It's kind of you to offer though." Bella had to be fine, I couldn't imagine anything else.

We sat there in silence for the most part, occasionally one of us would let slip a thought or a comment. Anna was quiet as well, like she knew the seriousness of the situation, and I wasn't certain that she didn't. She sat in my lap and watched the TV that was hanging from the ceiling.

Time seemed to drag, until finally, it was time for me to go back. The doors opened and I looked down at Anna, "Hey Sunshine, you sit here with Auntie Rose and Uncle Em for a minute, alright? I'm going to go check on Mommy."

She reached out her arms and Emmett scooped her up. I stood and slowly made my way into the unit.

To say that Bella didn't look like herself would be an understatement. She was bruised and battered, tubes and wires were everywhere. I was completely unprepared to her that way.

"Excuse me, are you Mr. Black?"

"Yes, that's me."

"I'm Sandra Owens, Ms. Swan's nurse. Your name was listed as next of kin in her wallet."

I nodded. "I'm the only family she has left."

"Then we some things we need to discuss."

Twenty minutes later, after having the most difficult conversation of my life, I was finally able to sit down and talk to my best friend. Words like 'brain activity' and 'blunt force trauma', 'irreparable damage' and 'comfort measures' had been thrown about left and right, it was all I could do to grasp what I was being told.

I sat there and held her hand and tried to prolong the moment as long as I could. I would like to say that I could remember everything I said to her, but I can't. I would like to say that I didn't beg and plead with her to come back, to prove the doctors wrong, for her to somehow make her brain function once again, but I can't. The truth is, I did beg and I pleaded and then I cried. But in the end, I kissed her cheek and said goodbye.

And then, I went to talk to Anna. It was hard to tell that little girl that her momma had gone to be an angel.

"_Did she want to be an angel?"_

"_No sweetpea, your momma wanted to be here with you."_

"_Will I get to see her again?"_

_I had nodded, "I think you will, but it may be a long time from now."_

_She had seemed to think for a minute. "Where will I live?"_

"_Well, I was going to talk to you about that. Would you like to come and live with me and Papa Billy?"_

"_Will you be my daddy?"_

"_I will if you want me to be."_

_She held out her arms and I picked her up and hugged her. And then I took her home._

And that was what had led us to the moment we were currently having.

"Did you know that your mother and I used to hunt for four leaf clovers?"

"You did?"

"Yes we did."

"What else did you do?"

"We used to climb that tree," I squatted down and sat her on the ground. I pointed to a big oak that was towering over the edge of the yard.

"Can I climb it?"

"Maybe not just yet, but you'll be big enough soon." I took her by the hand and we started to walk.

"You know, we could build a tree house. Your mommy and I always wanted to have a tree house but we never got to build one."

"Can baby Samuel play with me in the tree house?"

I smiled. "He can when he gets bigger."

"What about Daisy?" The big golden retriever stood up at her name and trotted over, wagging her tail.

"I'm not sure if Daisy will be able to climb the ladder, but maybe we can fix her some stairs."

"Yeah, let's make stairs to the tree house Daddy so Daisy can play too."

Being a father wasn't something that I had prepared for, but it was something that I loved. And it wasn't easy, there were times when I was sure that Bella was there, guiding me, helping me to raise her daughter. I never saw her, and even though I talked to her all the time, she never answered, at least not in words. But always, there was the sense that she was there, just beyond our eyesight, keeping us safe, just out of reach.


End file.
